Why aren't you a Trump supporter?

I know what Nikki Haley’s authority with the National Guard is

If someone works for me, I actually pay them

I understand how hurricane paths work

Why does the God of the Bible condemn homosexual acts?

Those are a few reasons off the top of my head. How ’bout you?

I don’t believe there is a fucking “president of the Virgin Islands”

EVEN FUCKING MIKE PENCE understands that

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I don’t believe that Saudi Arabia and Russia “will vedoop bedeep uhhhh”

I don’t run and hide from a debate like a fucking WIMP just becuase some moderator asked pointed questions

I understand historical events enough to know there were no airports in the eighteenth century, that Canada didn’t burn the White House half a century before it existed and that World War Two already happened

Why do wives cheat on their loyal husbands?

I know who the president of Turkey really is

I don’t believe in asking the people of Iowa “how stupid are the people of Iowa”

I have a reading level above third grade

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I understand geography enough to know that Belgium is not a “beautiful city”, that Paris is not in fucking Germany, that India does share a border with China, that that border is peppered with Bhutan and Nepal, not “Button” and “Nipple”, that time zones exist, that “shithole countries” do not, that “England” and “the UK” are not the same thing, that you cannot build a wall in Colorado to keep out New Mexico, and that the Bronx is not and has never been “a very wonderful place in fucking Germany”

I didn’t get out of military service with fucking “bone spurs” that I paid a doctor to write

I have complete contempt for fraudsters, and even less for repeat ones

Have you ever followed through being bi-curious?

Let us count the ways. Captain Obvious says:

I don’t believe Nazis, Klan klowns and white supremacists chanting “Jews will not replace us” comprise “very fine people”

I don’t pretend not to know who David Dooky is just because he can deliver votes

What happened to everybody's thick skin? It used to be that people really didn't get offended, now however, everybody gets offended by the least little thing.

I know the difference between “give me your tired, your poor” and “they’re poisoning our blood”

I don’t hold serial bankrupters in high regard

I have complete contempt for intentional stupidity

When you visit a store, do you go to shop or buy?

I understand that you can’t just fucking nuke a hurricane

I don’t watch or listen to advertising

I don’t buy bullshit

Why are men ridiculously delusional in the women they want/approach? I'm not a troll. This is a real question. Why does a fat, pot bellied, unkempt, balding, stupid (ergo poor) man, tell a woman above his league that she isn't hot enough for him?

I know that if I or anyone I know commits a crime we’ll go to the clink

A real man doesn’t grab women by the p***y

I have an acute aversion to scumbags

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I respect other cultures and don’t respect those who don’t

I’ve never tried to pretend the word would means wouldn’t

Fuck that piece of orange shit, fuck his idiocracy, fuck his sexism, fuck his racism, fuck his religionism, fuck his divisionism, fuck his lying, fuck his orange face paint, fuck his worship of Cult of Ignorance, fuck his Cult, fuck his jingoistic horseshit, fuck his manuipulations, fuck his toddler-age WIMPism, fuck his fucked-up values of ME ME ME and did I mention ME, and fuck him personally with a giant razor sharp dildo that’s been preheated to 204.7° F and built to the dimensions of the Washington Monument. Slowly.

How do scientists behave?

I know there’s no such thing as invisible planes

I understand that you can’t inject bleach or light

I respect women and don’t respect those who don’t

What does it mean to dream about demons possessing people, and what can be done about this dream that keeps occurring for years?

I don’t respect shameless hucksters who try to sell a vitamin where you have to mail in your pee

It’s uncool to lurk around teenage girls’ dressing rooms

I don’t cotton to rapists

What can anal toys bring to straight men?

I know that he didn’t run against “Obamna”

I don’t buy made-up stories of “thousands and thousands of people dancing on rooftops”

I can read

What kind of book did you write after turning 55?

I understand that when you lose an election you step the fuck aside and take it like a man rather than invade the Capitol while your loss is being made official just because you’re a fucking snowflake WIMP

I took the same Oath and took it seriously

I know the difference between “George Bush” and “Jeb Bush”

I don’t respect a sleazeball who lies about his height just so he can lie about his weight

I don’t hide in my hotel room while everybody else keeps the appointed time and place because my hair might get wet

I know the difference between Sioux City and Sioux Falls and even Sioux Center

I actually pay taxes

I don’t call Tim Cook “Tim Apple” and if I do I don’t deny what’s right there on the videotape because I’m too much of a fucking WIMP to handle Reality

authoritarians can get down on the floor and bite my ass, yesterday

I see through liars

It’s uncool to set up soft porn pics with your own preteen daughter

I have complete contempt for fakery

I can count

I have complete contempt for traitorism

When a reporter declines to join me in the rooftops fantasy I don’t go on stage and gyrate to mock his congenital disability

I know that sounds DO NOT cause cancer.

When I go Greenland shopping and Denmark says no I don’t melt down like a fucking WIMP

I have no sicko desire to control women or have a bizarro hangup with “blood”

I don’t believe the way to respond to a hurricane is to call a press conference to describe it as “wet from the standpoint of water”, to distribute Play Doh, or to stand at a podium throwing rolls of paper towels as if they were bottles of ketchup